A few posts ago I mentioned that I've developed a new love for reading. New because it had been almost 12 years since I actually picked up a book. And that isn't counting the one a year book I picked up at the airport to keep me entertained. Since then, I've been buying books and adding to my personal collection. I've been buying a lot of books-which is why Richard is starting to nag me about the library card. I don't want a library card. I want to own my own books. They're relatively inexpensive compared to his golf clubs and his gun collection. My purses, shoes and books in a year would never equal the amount he spends on his two greatest hobbies. I'm not getting a library card-at least not yet! Hopefully never!
Anyway, selfishness is my question today and it has to do with the books I'm starting to become buried in. I really never cared about lending my books to others until just recently. I had a friend read a copy of a book by one of my most favorite authors and then when he was finished I sent it on to another friend at work. I noticed upon its return that the first borrower didn't hold my book the way I do and now it feels worn. I'm devastated. I'm currently in the middle of the Reacher Novels and people are starting to ask when they can begin the books. I'm not wanting to share them at this point for fear that Reacher will be worn out when he returns to me. The thought of it sends me into a panic. That's when I looked up the definition to see if I'm really being as horrible as I think I am.
SELFISH-(1) looking after own desires: concerned with your own interests, needs, and wishes while ignoring those of others...(2) demonstrating selfishness: showing that personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people.
I read the definition and it doesn't read like I thought it would. In fact, I really think I can rationalize not sharing my books at all. Maybe reserving them only for the closest people in my life. Which would be me and my closest friends at work and in the ward. It would include friends like Vicki, who loaned me all of her Anne Rice novels. It would be hardly fair for me not to return the favor especially since I've done nothing but talk about Reacher for the last few weeks. And it would include friends like Adrienne W. since I never attended the book club she started after I promised her I would participate. She deserves to read the books and I really think she'd like Reacher. I like Reacher. It's possible she might like him as much as me. But she won't know if I don't let her borrow my books. It would include Jacque, too. She got me started on the BDB series so clearly I would need to loan a series that I believe would fall into the BDB category. Clearly, Jack Reacher is Brotherhood worthy. And I suppose I could make an exception for people who don't have a library card. It would be very hypocritical of me to tell them to go get one when I'm not willing to get one myself. See- I don't think I'm that selfish at all!
