I Didn't Get the Memo

I've been having some medical problems the last couple weeks and after multiple tests and hundreds of dollars in medical costs I chose to skip the final procedure they were requesting and decided to let my Lupus specialist handle the issue since I had my regular Lupus appointment scheduled for today, anyway. Seemed simple at the time. *rolls eyes*

I arrived at my appointment at the scheduled time and was immediately told that I had a balance that had been sent to collections. My first response was panic. I mean, I'm a girl that's all about credit perfection... just ask my twitter friends how damaged I was when I found out I had missed a scheduled payment to a credit card when I misjudge the arrival time on my credit union's automatic payment plan.

It. Was. Awful.

I'd never had a late payment before. Well, I had a few once... in 2000 when my sister died. I sent all the payments on time (long before the online payment thing was ever around), but I sent them through the mail without a stamp. GASP!  But it was back in the day when companies actually had compassion on the menu for success.  Back in the day when you could call up a service representative and actually speak to a person, and without getting into an argument, you could explain the situation calmly and have your late fee reversed. REVERSED!

Anyway... where was I?

Oh yeah... I went to my scheduled appointment and was told I had an outstanding balance that was sent to collections. The offending amount?  $1.44.  *shakes head*

I've never received a bill for $1.44. I've never been notified by a billing agency or a collection agency about an outstanding debt. But today? Today I have a bill for $1.44 in collections... Or so they thought?

I went to pay the offending amount at the time I paid my copayment for the appointment, but... they wouldn't take the money. I was told the payment had to be made with the collection company, which happened to be in the basement of the hospital. So, after my appointment I went to the billing department that they told me about and... they didn't have an outstanding bill for me.  What? This led me back to the doctor's office where I again inquired about the outstanding debt and offered once again to pay it. But, again... I was told that I didn't have an outstanding debt in collection. Instead... I had a credit???

Such confusion.  A supervisor was called and I was given the number of a billing agency to call wherein I was told...

"You do have an outstanding bill of $1.44, but our office policy prohibits us from sending a statement for anything under $5.00.  While you had an outstanding debt at the time of check-in your copayment wiped out the debt, and now you have a credit of $33.56. However, once the bill is processed, the $1.44 debt will come back because you've met your deductible for the year. So, until we have another bill to attach the small amount to, you'll always have a debt of $1.44."

They did tell me that it isn't with collections. It will never go to collections. It'll just sit in the loop until I have a bill that they can attach it to. That will happen when my insurance starts over on April 1, 2013.

That probably doesn't sound like a big deal, right? I mean, really, what's the harm of having an outstanding debt forever stuck in the system for a lousy $1.44?  Well, for starters, new office policy prohibits the office receptionists from making appointments with physicians if the patient has an outstanding debt.

I have an outstanding debt.

At the time I left my appointment I didn't have an outstanding debt, though. This allowed me to schedule a 6 month Lupus appointment for July. My problem will be when my knee swells with fluid and I have to go in to see my doctor before July and I won't be able to get an appointment because I have an outstanding debt of $1.44 that no one will let me pay... and this problem will force me to go to the ER the next time I have a knee issue, costing me more money... requiring more tests because I have LUPUS and they'll want to make sure the knee swelling isn't being caused by a more serious problem.  *sigh*

Tomorrow I start my petition to allow me to pay my $1.44 debt. It will be my goal to have it paid by the end of next week.  Heads will roll, people. Heads. Will Roll.

But that wasn't my only problem at the doctor's office today.  My appointment was for a Lupus check-up... and I had the audacity to want the doctor to follow-up with all the medical things from the last two weeks since the other doctors were never able to find the cause of my chest pains.  For this... I was told I would be billed for two office visits. Two? Why?

For the love of all things HOLY... I'm angry.  Turns out my problem that wasn't originally a part of my visit ended up being Lupus related, but depending on how the doctor marks the form I may be paying for two visits thanks to this new asinine policy created to suck every last cent from us unsuspecting, medically needy citizens. For me, my deductible is paid for the year, so at the most I'm only stuck with a bill for $35.00 IF they bill for two office visits. Or, $36.44, since they'll have another bill to attach that outstanding debt to. Hmmmmm... maybe this is just a way to collect all the loose change they have stuck in collections.  Regardless... it sucks and should be illegal.

I don't know how anyone with common sense can read that sign and not become angry at the blatant abuse of power within the medical community. Next time the doctor asks if there's anything else you want to discuss... think twice.  Heaven forbid the doctor actually treat more than one ailment in one office visit for the price of ONE office visit.